


Homesick

by Joolz



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: April Showers Challenge, Drama, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-05-07
Updated: 2005-05-07
Packaged: 2017-10-17 20:22:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/180841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joolz/pseuds/Joolz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>McKay is held hostage by someone with an impossible demand.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Homesick

“I’m telling you, McKay, it’s a can opener.”

“Oh, it is not.”

They were in Rodney’s lab standing over a small instrument that was lying quietly on the table top.

“Look at it. It has the blade and the wheel.” Sheppard picked it up by the handle, the sharp edge locked down and the ridged wheel started to turn. “What the hell else could it be?”

Rodney frowned at the device. It did look disconcertingly like the can opener in his kitchen drawer back on Earth. There was no way he was going to admit that, though.

He declared with confidence, “It’s not a can opener.”

John set the implement down with a bang and glared at Rodney. “How can you be so sure?”

“Well,” McKay continued reasonably, “think about it. In all our exploration of this city, has anyone ever found anything remotely resembling a can? No. Not even the stray tin of baked beans hiding in the back of a cupboard. Why would the Ancients make a can opener if they didn’t use cans?”

“Just because we haven’t found any doesn’t mean there never were any. You know how efficient the recycling system is. They could have been living entirely on baked beans toward the end and threw the last can into the trash right before they stepped through to Earth. No one would ever know.”

Rodney had to nod in agreement. “Much to the disappointment of the archaeologists. No middens anywhere to excavate. But Major, you can’t use the lack of evidence to prove your theory. It isn’t a can opener until you find an Ancient can and open it.”

John’s eyes narrowed. “Okay, then, Mr. Know-it-all. What do you think it is?”

Rodney was saved from having to come up with something totally outrageous, farfetched and yet plausible by a voice over the intercom.

Elizabeth Weir’s smooth intonation requested, “Major Sheppard? Would you come to the control room for a minute?”

“I’ll be right there,” he answered, then turned back to Rodney. “You’d better come up with a good explanation before I get back, or I’m taking it down to the kitchen. I think the cooks have suffered enough for having forgotten to bring a can opener with them. Teamwork, Rodney. The good of the whole. Save wear and tear on the Swiss army knives.”

As Sheppard was leaving, Rodney called out, “It’s not a can opener!”

Actually, looking at it again, that could be exactly what it was. Now all Rodney had to do was find a can to prove his theory.

Lost in speculation as to where the Ancients might have stored such things, he barely noticed the door open and a figure step in. He started tapping at his laptop keyboard to bring up the Atlantis schematics.

Without looking up, he snapped, “What do you want? Can’t you see I’m busy?”

“Dr. McKay?” The voice was shaking with emotion, which cut right through his self-absorption. In his gut he knew that something horrible had happened.

Rodney looked up to find one of the youngest of the science team standing before him, Jay Mason. The blond haired, blue eyed young man looked like he’d stepped right out of an Iowa corn field. Just now, however, his eyes were wide and fearful.

“Mason. What’s the matter?”

The boy, Rodney couldn’t help thinking of him as a boy, swallowed and said, “I want to go home.”

Huh. The city wasn’t about to collapse? No one was dying of an alien parasitic infestation? The Wraith weren’t having lunch in the cafeteria? What did it have to do with him, then?

“Thank you so much for sharing that riveting news flash with me. As you can see, though, this is my lab, not your quarters. Run along and stop bothering the genius at work.”

Mason shifted a little closer. “No, you don’t understand. I want you to send me home. To Earth. I can’t stay here anymore.”

Great, it was probably a practical joke. He glared, “Who put you up to this? It isn’t amusing, it’s a waste of my time.”

The boy raised his arm and suddenly the business end of a handgun was about three inches from Rodney’s nose. Mason insisted, “I’m not joking. I want you to fix the ‘Gate so that I can go home to Earth. I know you’re the one who can do it. You have to.”

The kid’s eyes were wild but his hand was steady. McKay thought that he might have misjudged; it seemed that something bad was happening after all. Guns pointed at him were always bad.

“Look, Mason, I sympathize. I really do. But you knew that was part of the deal; go to Atlantis and stay there. One way trip. We can’t go back, there isn’t enough power.”

“Yes there is. I heard some of the engineers talking. We have enough power, it’ll just take all of it to activate the ‘Gate to Earth. That’s what I want you to do.”

“And risk total systems failure here on Atlantis? I don’t think so.”

Mason’s voice cracked with stress. “I’m sorry about that, but I have to go home. You can all come too if you want, but I’m getting out of here. I can’t take it! If I can’t go I’ll kill you and then myself. I mean it!”

Unfortunately, it was clear to Rodney that he did mean it. A lunatic-with-a-gun hostage situation. Wonderful. He held up his hands in the universal ‘calm down’ gesture. “Okay, Mason. We’ll send you home. Let’s go down to the control room and I’ll set it up.”

“No! I’m not stupid. You want to get me where they can jump me. We’ll stay right here until it’s ready. You tell the others what to do.”

“All right. I will need to talk to the others, you know.”

Mason motioned toward the intercom with his gun. “Talk to them. Don’t try to trick me.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

~~**~~

Sheppard agreed to Team 2’s request to stay another couple of days on the planet they were visiting and signaled Grodin to shut down the Stargate. The natives had some sort of friendship ritual that had to be performed before they would agree to trade. John was glad it was the other team. If it had been his, the friendship ritual would no doubt have involved mud and/or blood. Since it was Bates, upon whom it would be wasted, it probably meant an extended feast and belly dancers.

McKay’s voice, sounding perturbed, came through the intercom. “Hello? Is Weir there?”

Elizabeth walked over and flipped the switch. “I’m here, Rodney. What can I do for you?”

“Oh, you can dial the ‘Gate to Earth.”

The woman smiled. “Of course, Rodney. And for my next trick I’ll come down the chimney in a red suit and fill everyone’s stockings with toys.”

They could hear McKay sigh before he answered. “We have a situation.”

Suddenly John knew that Rodney wasn’t joking. He leaned in and asked, “What kind of a situation are you talking about, McKay?”

“Oh, Major. You’ll enjoy this. I’m here in my lab with Dr. Mason and he’s holding a gun to my head. If we don’t dial Earth and send him through, bang. No more Rodney.”

Sheppard, Weir and Grodin looked at each other. This was a new one.

Elizabeth asked, “Are you all right, Rodney?”

“Just fine. This is so much fun.” Sarcasm dripped from his words, even through the speaker. “It’s just like being on a TV show. All the heroes have to be taken hostage by a mad gunman at least once, and here I get to do it twice. What a pleasure.” He was referring to the unfortunate incident with Kolya and John hoped that this one would be a little less dramatic.

Weir said, “Dr. Mason? Can you hear me?”

“I hear you.”

“Dr. Mason, what’s your first name?”

“Uh, Jay.”

“Jay, you can call me Elizabeth. Why don’t you tell me what’s going on. We’ll find a way to resolve this without anyone getting hurt.”

“You just have to send me to Earth. That’s all. Or else I’ll kill McKay.”

“Jay, you must know that we’re unable to dial Earth. If we could have we would have done it by now. We can’t contact Earth, but we do have each other. Could I come down there so we can talk about this face to face?”

The man’s voice sounded more agitated. “No! I watch TV, too. You just want to trick me. No one comes in here, or I’ll shoot McKay. I don’t want to talk to you! Just send me home!”

Elizabeth tried again. “Jay,…”

“Shut up!”

There was a loud noise and then the intercom fell silent. It sounded to John like the kid had shot out the speaker. Not playing with a full deck, but then he had already guessed that.

Weir took charge. “Major, I want you to get up to the lab and get as much information as you can. Don’t go in unless I tell you to.”

“Right.” He called Ford and told him to meet him outside the lab. As he left, he heard Weir asking Drs. Heightmeyer and Beckett to come to the control room. He hoped she had a plan.

~~**~~

“Oh, that was just brilliant.” Rodney threw his hands up in exasperation. “What do you expect us to do now?”

Mason started pacing erratically, waving the gun in the air, then turned and pointed it straight at Rodney. “You get into the back corner of the room. I don’t want you near your computer or equipment. Find a way to talk to them and tell them what to do.”

Okay, nothing like contradictory orders to clear things up.

“Mason, I’m going to get the radio earpiece out of my desk. I’ll be able to talk to them that way. All right?”

The young man’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Just don’t try anything.”

“Desk, radio, corner. Got it.”

Keeping his hands in plain sight, he walked to his desk and pulled out a small side drawer. Slowly lifting out the black earpiece, he fitted it to his head. “See, no problem.” Mason followed him farther into the lab and watched while he moved a chair into the corner. After seating himself, he asked, “Is it all right if I call Dr. Weir now?”

“Go ahead. Just don’t-“

“Try anything. I know.”

He flipped the small switch and called, sing-songing, “Oh, Elizabeth. Dr. Weir. Do you read me?”

After a moment he heard, “Rodney! What happened?”

“Our Clyde Barrow here assassinated the intercom. I have my headset on.”

“Good thinking. Is Jay listening to us now?”

With exaggerated patience he said, “No, Elizabeth.”

Mason stepped closer. “What is she saying?”

“She just wanted to know if I’m injured. She’s very concerned about my health, you know.”

“She’d better be. Tell them to power up the ‘Gate.”

Rodney heard Sheppard’s voice speaking to Elizabeth over the radio. “We’re outside the lab. I have their locations on the life-signs detector, but without going in, there isn’t much we can do from here.”

Weir answered, “Stay there. Dr. Beckett is putting together a knock-out gas just in case.”

Rodney wondered if they were going to chatter all day. “Hello? Elizabeth, this kid means business. You’re just going to have to institute Emergency Protocol B6.” He paused for effect. “Well, I think this qualifies as an emergency.”

There was a puzzled silence on the other end, then he heard Grodin say, probably to Weir, “No, there isn’t any EPB6.”

Rodney continued, “Yes, I know what will happen. All other systems will have to be powered down. We can bring them back on-line one at a time after we’ve sent Mason through.”

Weir said, “Rodney, you do know we can’t do that, right?”

With only half-feigned exasperation, he answered, “Yes, of course I know that.”

Mason jabbed the gun angrily toward McKay. “What are they saying? What’s going on?” He was looking more and more frantic.

Remembering the fate of the intercom, Rodney decided that a little placating of the man with the gun might be in order.

“Easy, Mason. It’s all right. They’re just naturally concerned about the effects this might have on Atlantis, but they’re definitely going to send you to Earth. Just calm down.”

A new voice came through the radio. “Dr. McKay, this is Kate Heightmeyer. You’re doing very well. You need to keep talking to him. Be nice.”

Be nice. Of course. He was so good at that. Rodney snorted and heard some chuckles that he just knew were from Sheppard. He’d get even later.

Heightmeyer went on, “Ask him about himself. Get him to talk about what he’s feeling.”

Rodney said to the young man, “They’re getting the plans and will start shutting down systems right away. They have to do it in a certain order or too much power will be wasted. It’ll take a while, so why don’t you sit down.”

Mason frowned, but looked around for a chair. As he pulled one over to sit facing Rodney, Grodin began talking.

“All right, McKay, I think I understand where you’re going with this. We pretend to shut down systems, pretend to dial Earth but really dial some place else and send him through.”

Rodney said, “Yes, that’s good, Mason. No reason for you to be uncomfortable. So, where are you from?”

Sheppard drawled, “Subtle, McKay. I hope that’s not your pick up line.”

Weir admonished, “Major,” then Grodin said, “Some pyrotechnics will probably be in order to make it look realistic. Maybe a nice, screechy sound effect. Mason is a biologist. He won’t know the difference.”

Were these people taking this at all seriously? Grodin was enjoying this way too much. Rodney added him to the list of people to get revenge on later.

He realized that Mason was in the middle of a rambling elegy to the wonders of Kansas in the springtime. So Kansas, not Iowa. Same difference. He was talking about how the sunset stretched forever over the plains when he stopped, his eyes filling with tears.

The young man said, “I just miss it so much. I didn’t know it would be like this here. I didn’t understand. There are no plants here. All anybody can talk about is the Wraith coming to kill us.” His voice broke. “I want to go home.”

Rodney really did feel sorry for him. Everybody had been screened and was supposedly up to taking on this mission, but there was really no way of knowing for sure until they were in situ. He wished they actually could send the boy home.

“Mason. Jay. I know how you feel. There are things I miss, too. There’s an ice cream parlor on the corner of Denman and Haro in Vancouver that makes an incredible chocolate raspberry ripple. You know, the kind they mix by hand on a slab. And there was a swimming pool across the street from my apartment building. I remember the sound of the kids playing there in the summer. I loved that. Earth is our home. No matter where else we go, there’ll be something connecting us, calling us back. I promise we’ll do everything we can so that you can see the Kansas sunset again.”

The biologist blinked back tears and swallowed. Then he jumped to his feet and pointed the gun at Rodney.

“Today! I want to go home today! What’s taking so long?”

McKay’s heart started thumping. “Yes, you’ll go home today. You don’t need the gun, Jay, please put it down. I’ll ask them how much longer it will be. I’m sure the Stargate’ll be ready soon. You need to stay calm.”

Sheppard said in his ear, “Rodney, if you need us to come in there say the word ‘peach’ and hit the ground. If the guy’s losing it, don’t wait too long. Understand?”

Watching the unstable man wipe his eyes on his sleeve, the gun still pointed at him, Rodney said evenly, “Yes, Dr. Weir. Jay would like to know when he’ll be able to go home.”

The woman answered, “We’re almost ready. We’ll be dimming the lights in your section in a couple of minutes. You might want to warn him so it won’t be a surprise.”

Rodney nodded. “I understand.” Then to Mason, “It will only be a little while. They’re shutting down power all over the city. The lights will go out in here pretty soon, and then we’ll be ready to go to the ‘Gate. It’s almost over. Just hold on a little longer.”

~~**~~

Waiting in the hallway, John was really hating this. His first priority was to rescue McKay, but the troubled young man in that room was one of John’s people, too. He hoped he wouldn’t have to shoot him. He didn’t come here to kill his own. It had been one of the first things he’d done in the Pegasus Galaxy and he didn’t want a scared kid to start showing up along side Sumner in his dreams.

McKay’s hyper-calm voice wasn’t helping. It had to be bad if the boisterous scientist felt the need to be that controlled. John was right there with the kid in wondering what the hell was taking so long.

The lights went out, plunging them into pitch blackness, then the emergency lighting flickered on, casting everything in shadows.

John heard McKay reassuring Mason that it was all right. He wished that he could see what was happening, or at least hear both sides, but he trusted his team mate to handle the situation or call for backup if needed. He glanced at Ford beside him and saw that the lieutenant was alert and poised to move. Good man.

Weir said over the radio, “Okay, Rodney, we’re ready. Sheppard and Ford are in the hall, and they’re going to escort you to the gate room. Just take it slow and easy, and everything will be fine.” McKay acknowledged and began talking Mason through the procedure.

He heard, “Jay, it’s time to go. Major Sheppard and Lt. Ford are outside, but they won’t hurt you. We’ll just walk to the Stargate, and you’ll be going home.” There was a pause. “It’s all right. I don’t blame you. You’re doing your best. Are you ready?”

Seconds later the door opened and the two men stepped into the dim hallway. Mason was standing close behind McKay with the barrel of his pistol pressed into the side of his hostage’s neck. He saw John and Aiden with their weapons ready and shouted, “Get back! You aren’t going to stop me. I’ll kill him if you try.”

With a hand motion, he and Ford fell back several feet. John said, “Don’t worry, son. Nobody wants to stop you. It’s our job to make sure you don’t hurt anybody else, is all. You know the way to the ‘Gate from here. Just go ahead.”

Mason started walking backwards down the hallway, keeping McKay between himself and John. It looked like Rodney was having a hard time staying in step while trying not to jostle the man with the gun. That had to really suck. Mason kept looking behind him to make sure no one was there, which threw everything off more, but they made steady progress.

After several turns and one very awkward flight of stairs, they stepped into the ‘Gate room. As Mason pulled Rodney into the center of the open space in front of the Stargate, he looked up and yelled, “Dial it! Now!”

The ‘Gate began to dial, and the low lighting flickered as if the power drain were affecting it. Sparks flew around the outside of the naquadah ring, and a shrill whine made it sound like the mechanism was struggling. Grodin had done a good job. It wasn’t a normal ‘Gate activation, but it wasn’t over the top, either.

The event horizon whooshed into existence and Mason dragged McKay toward it. John stepped forward and called, “Mason! You need to leave the gun here. There’ll be SF’s on the other side, and they won’t like it if you come through armed.”

The kid looked at him in confusion, then nodded. He kept the gun on Rodney until they were standing right next to the wormhole. Mason said to McKay, “You can come, too! You can go home.”

McKay looked at him sadly. “You go ahead. I think I’m already there.”

Mason said, “I’m sorry, Dr. McKay,” dropped the gun, and stepped into the wormhole.

Immediately, Stackhouse, Beckett and two Marines came around a corner and followed the man through the ‘Gate, which then shut down.

John walked up to McKay, who was standing dejectedly in front of the empty ring. Putting a hand on the scientist’s shoulder, he asked, “You all right?”

Rodney smiled wanly. “I’m fine. Just tired.”

From the upper level, Weir called, “Incoming wormhole.”

John and Rodney moved back, but stayed to watch as five men came through, Mason’s thin frame held easily in the arms of one of the Marines.

Rodney asked Beckett, “Is he okay?”

“Aye. He’s sedated. We’ll take good care of him, not to worry.”

Weir and Heightmeyer joined them. The psychologist said, “I’m sorry. I knew he was having a hard time, but I had no idea it had gone this far. It’s like he just snapped.”

Elizabeth nodded. “The stress is hard on everybody. It actually surprises me that we don’t have more mental problems than we do.”

Rodney smiled sardonically, the sparkle coming back into his eyes. “Speak for yourself. I’m constantly aware of being surrounded by lunatics and madmen. Sometimes I think I’m the only sane person here.”

John grinned at him. “Sounds like delusions of grandeur to me.”

Kate Heightmeyer shook her head and quipped, “I’m not even going to start.”

~~**~~

Rodney was shoveling rice and vegetables into his mouth when Sheppard sat down across from him. The lunch room was filled with people going about what passed for an ordinary day in the Pegasus Galaxy. He knew that the major had just gotten back from a trip to the mainland.

As John took a sip of his coffee, Rodney asked, “So how is Mason doing?”

Sheppard’s face brightened. “Great! Holling has taken him under his wing. They spend most of their time working in the vegetable patch, and apparently the kid has calmed down a lot. I guess not everyone was cut out to live in a high-tech, miracle-around-every-corner city.”

Not bothering to swallow first, Rodney answered, “Dirt and bugs and god knows what, he’s welcome to them. Give me a clean, elegant, artificial construct any day.”

They ate in silence for a while, then Rodney said, “You know, I think I figured out where the Ancients might have kept their canned goods. Want to accompany me on an exploratory excursion this afternoon?”

John blinked at him. “Canned goods?”

“Yes, so we can see if the can opener works.”

The dark haired man waved his fork at Rodney. “I knew it! You admit that it’s a can opener.”

“I admit that it’s a possibility. However, I intend to prove it one way or the other, unlike someone I know who will settle for a flight of fancy.”

Sheppard grinned. “Wanna make a bet on it?”

“All right. If it’s a can opener you clean the floor in my lab.”

John frowned. “Wait a minute! You can’t bet that it is a can opener. I was the one who said it first.”

“Quibbler. Then, if it is a can opener, you can choose whether to clean the floor in my lab or in my room.”

“Rodney,” Sheppard growled warningly.

They continued to bicker, but it was all in good natured. Rodney really hoped that it was a can opener, because he absolutely loved baked beans.

 

End


End file.
